It's what fun is

we are LOVING Summer at our house, even though it quite often means for later bed times than usual. But thats ok. Summer, its what fun is!

I am so bad at taking pictures of all the fun things we do, so in short in the past 2 weeks we have;

*Gone camping(x2)
*Seven Peaks
*Bonfire in the canyon
*lots of pool time
*lots of splash pad time
*Discovery Gateway(x2)
*The Zoo (x2)
*several play grounds
*Park time at least once a day
*Bee's game (x2)
*long walks up Mueller Canyon

And probably much more. We are busy bodys here. The minute McKay wakes up, after he asks for Daddy he runs to the front door and screams "buh bye" over and over.I can't say it enough, we love Summer!

Where do I start? Ive really slacked off. Let's just say a lot has gone on, but my blog has been negelected even more so than normal. But I am still blogging. In fact, every day I have blogged for a week. Just on my weight loss blog, which no one gets to see until im ready. But beleive me, when Im ready, It will be good :)

Good Enough!

"have you ever realized that when people

say you have changed,

It's just because you decided to stop

living your life, their way."

Pretty much nothing brings me more joy than serving others. Like I have said in previous blogs, when I stopped working, I still wanted to feel like I was doing something.. make a difference in someones life, other than my family. So I have made it a goal to pray daily for help in finding those I can serve I can't tell you the amount of blessings that have come from it. Those people that are brought to me are special. They have never made me feel like I wasn't good enough. That the simple note I wrote, or the cookies I made, or the watching of kids I did wasn't good enough. They have let me know that even though the act may seem small to me, that is was a lot bigger to them. It keeps me going.

I am exhausted. I am not talking about lack of sleep, physically exhausted, but emotionally exhausted. I am so tired of giving and giving and giving until no end, to in the end, not feel good about it, but to feel used. Unappreciated and on top of it, like I am in trouble constantly. Nothing I can do for this person is good enough. I can literally bend over backwards, wrap my legs around my neck and jump up and down all at the same time and they would still say, " that's not enough"

Before I had McKay, I had a lot more free time. I had one less person to have to worry about and take care of, so naturally I had the time to do things for other people pretty much all the time. Now that I have my own family to take care of, not to mention myself every now and then, It seems there are people in my life who have turned to anger towards me. So angry that I can't drop everything and watch their children more often, that I can't come clean their house as I have many times before, so many things. I feel sad that they are so angry all the time, but I feel exhausted from having to apology almost daily for upsetting them by saying "no."

Those that know me, know that it is extremely difficult for me to say no to anyone. If someone said " please chop off your arms and legs for me, just for fun" I honestly would have done it. That is before I seeked counseling. Which I am so thankful and not ashamed of at all. I was really struggling this time last year, and needed help. I was being pulled so many directions, that my little family was suffering from it. It was so hard for me to say no to anyone. If I did happen to say no, I had to then have a made up excuse like I was dying from leprosy,something sure fire that they couldn't guilt me and manipulate me into then taking my 'no' back and saying yes. It took months of work, but I was finally able to learn that it is OK for me to say no. Its actually more than OK. I have now learned to say no, without any excuses and its been freeing... but along with it came the drama, the manipulation and the guilt. " you're don't love me anymore like you used to" I get that a lot. " You used to drop everything for me, now you wont" Yea, these people have families too... bigger families than me. You would think of all people they would understand that when circumstances in your life change, like getting married, having children so do your priorities and although you may not have as much time for the other things in life, you do your best and still make as much time as possible for others without making your family suffer.

This week has been a rough week. Not only am I taking care of my wonderful, yet crazy handful of a child, 18month old, but I am taking care of my husband, my mother and many other people. I love it, no matter how hard it gets I absolutely love it. So for me to get told tonight that I am not good enough, just hurt.

I am exhausted. haven't slept in 24 hours or more, have had several meltdowns, and now dealing with negativity of others who decide what they think will help them, is to put me down and belittle me. It sucks that they don't know better and haven't realized that belittling me hasn't made them happy yet, so why would it now. I hope and pray they can change and that after tonight, I can move past it and realize I am good enough. I am more than good enough and even if i don't get told that from certain people that they know it too. If they didn't think I was good enough, why would they be so dependant on me and need me so much.

Just what I Needed

Mark 10:14

" let the children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these."

When the journey becomes seemingly unbearable, we can take comfort in the words of the Lord:

“I have heard thy prayer, I have seen thy tears: behold, I will heal thee.” Some of the healing may take place in another world. We may never know why some things happen in this life. The reason for some of our suffering is known only to the Lord. "
-James E. Faust

Bubbles

McKay has a slight obession with bubbles, and I love to feed into it.It's also his favorite word to say right now. His cousin, Mason got a fun bubble gun for his birthday and McKay loved it. So, of course that's what McKay got for an early Easter present. To say he loves it, is an understatment. We could go through a whole bottle of bubbles an hour, if I let him. So to save some money I found a great way to make our own, and its very inexpensive.

Here’s the simple recipe:
4 cups water
1 cup dishwashing liquid (I used Palmolive but another brand would be fine)
1/4 cup light corn syrup
Mix it all up and then let sit for an hour or two. Then its ready!

we're heading outside right now to test it out.
Let the bubble fun begin!

18 Months

As im sitting here writting this, I'm hearing in the background, the cutest little voice saying "baby" and "bunnie" over and over again. I love my life.
McKay is 18 months next week. The past 6 months have gone so quickky. It sure has been fun. I am loving being home all day with him. Ever since his 15 month mark he is learning so much, so quickly. I'm trying to keep up with him. I think he learns a new word every day. So far, the words he can say
-ball, meow,woof woof, bunnie,baby, mamma, dadda, grandma, eyes, juice, snack, please, thank you, ding dong, this, there, here, fish, Isaac, no, stop, go, vroom (car noise), Jesus, silly, chicken, banana, stuck, up, down. teeth, and a few more ive spaced.
If you ask him, he can show you where his eyes, ears, hair, head, teeth, mouth, tongue, teeth, arms, nose, toes and knees are. He loves to be tickled and chased. he loves helping me cook and plays pretend cooking a lot, feeding me what he made.
McKay loves to jump like a frog and crawl like a dog. He loves dancing, music and pretending anything and everything is a microphone and sings in a adorable way.
He loves to kick and throw balls around. He loves to help sweep and mop, spit,give high fives and knuckles. His favorite things are balls and dogs. He's sort of obsessed with them already.
McKay loves to give hugs and kisses to anyone and any stuffed animal too. We are working on animal noises, but he can say Moo, Woof, Meow, Rar and wiggle his nose like a bunnie. He can full on blow his nose, and does it pretty much whenever it needs to be done, on his own. It's quite nice.
He is now in 3T in pretty much most of his clothes and quickly moving up. He has become more of a picky eater, and is definetly a texture person. Just like me.
McKay lights up the room, wherever he goes. People are drawn to him. He also gets that from me ;) He has a fun, spunky little personality, and it continues to become more fun each day. I couldn't have asked for a better little boy. What a blessing he is in our life.

What have we been up to?

Well, being the awesome Mom that I am, I took these pictures before helping him out. Seem's like this is an occurance almost every day this week.

He has been sitting on everything he can, that you really shouldn't sit on. I promise, I was nice once this week, as just this morning he sat in a basket for some toys and was stuck. I almost grabbed my camera but figured he had enough of being "tuck" as he would say.