So I have 1 day left before I go in for my surgery! It drives me crazy that they don't tell you when it's going to be until the day/night before. I know that it doesn't really matter when, but I am a planner. I like to know in advance when things are gonna happen.
On Monday I had my pre-op appointment with my dr. Before that appointment I was feeling so much anxiety, stress and was very overwhelmed. He told me that although I am going to have to spend the next 7-8 weeks in bed the good news is I will be able to put pressure and walk on my left foot. So I will be able to use crutches to get around after 3 weeks. That made me feel really good just to know that while I am home alone I don't have to worry about how I'm going to get to the bathroom, or eat, etc. It took a lot of stress off me, but sad to say Im still feeling a lot of anxiety.
I don't know why but I have this irrational fear running through my head day and night. I have a fear that Im going to die during the surgery. I know, that sounds so stupid. Its not necessarily a fear of dying. Its more a fear of dying and not seeing and saying goodbye to the people I love first. It scares me. I have had a hard time sleeping since I found out I was having surgery because I dream of awful things going wrong during the surgery. I hate that I always think about the worst possible situation and think its going to happen to me.
I took yesterday off to prepare my house and when I woke up yesterday I realized I don't even know what I need to do to prepare. It was very overwhelming. I had Steve bring out mattress downstairs since I wont be able to make it upstairs and I cleaned a little. Other than that, I just sat there wondering what I really needed to do. What does one need to do to prepare for being laid up in bed for a long while? I had/have no clue. The only thing I know is that I need a blessing. That's all I really need.
Speaking of blessing. I am so thankful that I have a husband who hold's the preisthood. I am learning more and more to use it. Growing up I didn't have a priesthood holder in my life so if I ever needed a blessing it was only if I was in DYER need since we would have to call over my Home Teachers to do it. It's hard getting used to just being able to tell Steve I need a blessing. Its taken some getting used to, but I absolutely love that I can do that and love and I am so greatful that Steve has made the decisions he has that has kept him worthy and made him who he is today.
6 comments:
Im sorry your so scared! That would be a scary thing. Im sure the Dr.s will take really good care of you though! Im glad you have such a great husband too to take care of you so well! We love you and remember if you need ANYTHING just call me!
Everything is going to go great. I understand being scared though. I'm here for you and anytime you need me to bring you dinner I'm there. Also if you're just bored and you need me to come and keep you company I'm there! Just let me know. Seriously!
Good luck with surgery! I'm sure all will go well. I think the anxiety is a completely normal thing. Please let me know if I can do anything for you. If you need dinner or anything like that, or if you just need some company.
Good luck!
I hope everything goes well with your surgery. That scares me a little bit that you're having bad dreams about it. Especially when you dreamed that I was pregnant and I was! I'm sure it will all be o.k. and everything will go well. Let us know how it all goes. I'll be praying for ya!
You are just too cute. I wish you well with your foot surgery and I pray for you. It's going to be okay little Missy. Don't forget to focus on your breathing. When I was laid up for one week, I had healthy snacks made ahead of time to I wouldn't chow down on chocolate all day, books to read, my favorite movies to watch and music at my finger tips. Yes, it was hard, but I really learned a lot about myself and developed knowledge in other subjects as well. Call anytime.
The comment from Ryan is from me Hayley. Did I scare you that a man was checking you out? Sorry about that. :)
Oh and another thing. Let others serve you. They need the blessings of getting to know you. Hearts can be touched and relationships strengthened through this experience.
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